What Kevin Bridges reminds us about great coaching…
My wife and I went to see comedian Kevin Bridges in Glasgow recently. He’s one of our favourites and as always, he didn’t disappoint. The part that had me laughing the hardest was about social media and how some people seem to want to make everything about them – “oh yeah, I’ve done that before, but it was way better…”.
Really funny but also a great reminder about coaching and the importance of understanding – it’s not about you!!
I find my coaching has much more impact if I go in with absolute clarity that the coaching interaction is not about me. This helps me avoid the temptation to ‘label’ people and look for signs or shaping the conversation to back up my opinion (confirmation bias). It helps me listen to really understand the issue, rather than being too quick to focus on how to get them to see my solution. And it helps me encourage them to find ways to help themselves, rather than falling into the (subconscious?) trap of using the conversation as a way of validating myself as a coach.
Avoiding this trap isn’t easy but as always, being aware that something could be an issue is the first step to overcoming it, so I thought I’d mention it.
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I don’t know if you’re aware of this but there’s a lot of research that shows that in the ‘modern’ workplace, people want to FEEL ‘connected’. To be part of something. If you think about motivation this makes sense.