If you want my advice, don’t forget about coaching when you’re asked for advice!!

I set up a meeting recently to ask someone I know well (but hadn’t seen for a while) for some advice about an area I want to work on and improve as I felt they could help. It didn’t go well.

No sooner was the area I was keen to discuss out of my mouth, they were straight in with advice about what I should do. I had planned to share more about what I was currently doing but because I used the phrase, “I’m keen to get your advice..”, they were off and running and spent the rest of the meeting offering ideas I was either already using or had dismissed as not suitable. It was a very frustrating meeting for me but as they were so keen to try and help, I didn’t share this with them ☹ (top tip – if you want someone to be honest about how useful your help was, DON’T say, “I hope that was useful for you?”. Being honest with feedback is hard enough without ‘hope-dashing’ being added into the mix!).

The temptation when you’re asked for advice is to just give advice. Rather than take a little bit of time to understand the issue in more detail. It feels good that people value your opinion, but this does add a bit of pressure to the conversation (I try not to use the word advice for this reason) – “what will they think if I can’t help them?” – so you can end up trying too hard to help.

What would I do if our roles were reversed? This is where an understanding of coaching comes in handy. I would ask questions to identify the SPECIFIC areas where help is needed which will also reduce any, ‘I hope I can help’ pressure. With a specific area to work with, I can work out quickly if I can help them or not. And even if I can’t, but I know someone else who can, that’s still very useful ‘advice’!

If you’re interested in receiving our monthly Insights sign up here

Stanger Pro Insights

Please enter your email address below to receive our newsletter.

Sign up for Stanger Pro - Insights
* = required field

powered by MailChimp!

Stanger Pro Parents Top Tips

Please enter your email address below to receive our newsletter.

* indicates required

Related Insights

Our Clients