Prepare by not preparing – have you got the skills?

Are you someone who likes to prepare for your coaching meetings or 1-1’s?  Does this include an agenda of things to discuss to keep you on track?

This approach has real merit but one downside is that a conversation designed to encourage someone to find ways to improve their own performance can have the influence of how you prepared all over it (particularly if there is a perceived difference in status between you – parent to child or boss to direct report for example).

If you feel this might be an issue for you try preparing by not preparing – rather than making a list of things YOU want to discuss, take time to clear your head by going for a quick walk or focusing on your breathing and make a commitment work with what THEY bring.

I think people don’t use this approach more often because the skills you need to do it well are hard to develop – for example, can you encourage them to think/reflect more deeply by resisting filling an awkward silence, can you use questions in a way that doesn’t infer your opinion, can you still be effective with the pressure of not knowing what might come up and having to respond in the moment and are you good at actually listening rather than just waiting to offer your (pre-prepared) thoughts?

Not preparing still means you need to be prepared and if you use this approach regularly you’ll have amble opportunity AS YOU COACH to work on the skills you need to make this an effective coaching option.

While it’s important to mix up what you do, sometimes (always?) the best way to prepare for interactions is an empty head and a wee bit of freshness…

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