Worried about over-coaching?… then this story might help…

I know someone really well (to protect identities let’s call him Tommy) who is passionate about his role in helping those around him reach their potential.  So passionate in fact that I know he was concerned that he might be in danger of doing too much coaching, especially with those closest to him.  And even though Tommy was a real thinker, he was struggling to work out what to do.

Then out of the blue about 12 months ago Tommy recognised a golden opportunity.

The environment he operated in had changed and he was now going to be spending a lot more time with a small number of people. Initially this was a concern for Tommy – will this make the problem worse?  But the more he thought about it, the more he recognised this as a chance to focus on his non-verbal coaching.

So Tommy made a plan (he loves plans!).  He kept his eyes open to identify behaviours he was keen to influence and rather than trying to coach them, he displayed them.  Consistently.

What sorts of things did he do?

• Even though he had more time on his hands he kept to his early morning schedule and talked about his focus for each day
• He placed items in the dishwasher in a way that would ultimately lead to maximising its capacity
• He shared the positives to be found in tough situations and offered a balanced view when it was easy to be critical

And what happened?  Over that 12-month period Tommy was delighted to see the fruits of his non-verbal coaching in the behaviours of those around him.  So pleased in fact that he’s working on ways of using this approach with people he sees less often.  He’s also decided to share his story with the world (well some of them) to see if this can help them.  What a great guy!!

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