How important is showing you care to effective coaching?
I was reminded recently how much I love simplicity when the Head Coach of the New York Jets, Robert Saleh, was asked about his philosophy on how to effectively coach his players…
- Let them know you care about them outside of the sport.
- Help them make plays on game day.
I love this and my reason for sharing it is that while helping them make plays on game day has a track record in sports coaching about what works and what doesn’t, the impact on performance of letting them know you care about them outside of the sport is probably less well understood.
But if letting them know you care about them outside of the sport is important to performance (which I think it is) then how do you do it? Here are some thoughts…
- I like clarity and for me, I care about you = showing you you’re important to me.
- How are you? How was your weekend? – is this too commonplace an approach to genuinely work at a you’re important to me level?
- It feels good when others deem we are important enough for them to gives us their energy. Can we be better at giving our energy to others when there is so much other stuff to get done?
- When we talk it feels good to be heard – are you listening or waiting for your turn to speak?
- Remember what you know to be important for them – big events, their kids, pets, hobbies etc. – and proactively asking about them.
- In American Football they use the approach of telling work colleagues, “I love you” and “I appreciate you”. I’ll leave you to decide if this might work for you!
- Asking – is everything OK? A great option if you are good at handling what might come up – someone having a rant or sharing a deeply personal issue they’ve been struggling with.
- If it feels good to be recognised and accepted for who you are by another person (being seen) then we need to understand who they feel they are and anything you’ve got going on which might impact if you accept them or not. Now there’s a challenge!
- For more ideas you could also watch Ted Lasso on Apple TV!
Just some thoughts to get you started and thank you for reading – I appreciate you!
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