Imagine your son or daughter has been selected for a squad, academy, or competition and they are absolutely over the moon. Things have been going exceptionally well and they are going through a spell where everything they touch turns to gold. This might seem like an easy situation for parents to deal with. Praise them, give them a hug make sure they phone their granny to tell them the good news!
But here’s what I would recommend in this situation. Say, “awesome, well done. What a fantastic opportunity”. And I’d want them to take some time to enjoy the feelings of satisfaction of having worked hard towards something they value. But the next day I would follow up with, “how can this opportunity help you develop the skills you need to achieve your goals?”. Why would I ask this question? Because you are pleased. Your kids know you’re pleased. They like it when you’re pleased. But you don’t want them to think you will only be pleased when they do well. Sport won’t always bring outrageous success, things will go wrong.
Let them know you feel they deserve this opportunity and at the right time let them know what really makes you proud is when they learn as much as they can from the situation whatever happens next. Then make sure you follow up to ask what they’re learning as they progress. And if you really want to hammer the message home, give granny a quick ring first to make sure she does the same!
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