Would you say you’re an honest person?
If it depends on the situation does that mean it’s OK to be kind of honest? I think most people would rather you were always honest with them but then also admit they find it hard to always be honest.
Not easy and one of the biggest challenges is when being honest with someone might impact the performance and motivation of another (important) team member.
If you’ve been asked to be honest and say, “I think they’ll do a better job than you”, then you can coach them through the things that will help them improve. But if you say, “you are better than them but I’m under pressure to give them an opportunity”, then this could cause issues if (when?) it was shared with the rest of the team.
So what to do.
I think when we’re asked to be honest (or when we say we are being) there’s an assumption that what we share will be the truth. In some situations there will be things that are true but for most people stuff it will be your opinion of where things are at the moment. The concept of honesty (a non-subjective truth) isn’t the right one. This is not to duck the need for accurate feedback. It just means how it is presented needs some thought.
Instead I like phrases like…
The above are just some options and there are plenty more but if I’m being honest with you, I think being honest is used out of context too often 😊
Tony
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