The following has been stimulated by two things. Firstly a really good book called Billy No-mates by Max Dickins about male friendships. Secondly, as my sessions are 1-1 and confidential, the recognition that people share things with me that they don’t talk about with anyone else. I know this because I ask them. And I ask them to get them to consider the impact if they did.
The more I thought about this the more I realised I have a very limited number of people I would (not could) talk to if exploring what’s going on with me might be helpful. I also recognised that I’m usually quite quick to convince myself that nothing is bothering me.
This reminded me of the COSCA Counselling Skills course I completed last year. This included working in small groups and taking turns sharing something that was troubling us with the listener who’s role was to help us explore what was going on. Every week I thought, “what am I going to talk about?”. Every week I talked about something I thought wasn’t an issue. Every week I found what I talked about was bothering me more than I let on and I felt better by sharing.
So I’m very gradually broadening what I talk about with different people. It’s not been easy and I’ve found it hard not see doing this as some sort of weakness. But it also feels important and I take the opportunity where I can to encourage others (you!!) to do the same…
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